So I've seen this post floating round the Blogosphere a lot recently and I admit I've gotten a little carried away, so if you've written one I've probably already read it so I figured it's about time I write my own. So here we go, 20 things I've learnt over the last 20 years.
1. Do What You Love
This is so important and I cannot stress this enough. Growing up, I spent so long doing things I didn't really like doing because I thought I should, or because the frenemies that I clung to through secondary school were doing the same thing. Equally there's things I've wanted to do, but didn't because it wasn't the cool thing to do. I realised at about 15 that it's not important to do what everyone else is doing if it's not something that you want.
2. Don't Let Anyone Say You Can't
This kind of relates to the previous one, but so many times I've tried my hand at something and I've been told I can't do it, I'm not good enough, I'm too fat, I'm too old/young. There's always someone that's going to come up with a reason why you can't do something, but listening to them is the worst thing you could do. Instead, I like to see it as a challenge. If someone told me I can't do something, I'm determined to prove them wrong. My teachers told me I wasn't smart enough to go to university, and now I'm in my third year and doing well.
3. Kindness Gets You Everything
This is probably one of the harder lessons that I've had to learn. When you're younger, it's easy to get frustrated when people are blocking you from what you want to do, but at some point you'll be annoyed to learn that the phrase "You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" is true. Always be kind, because you never know when you'll need that person in the future. If someone annoys you, or makes things difficult, try to remain courteous, and if someone asks for your help give it where you can. You never know when you'll need help and if someone remembers that you were there for them when they needed it, they'll most likely want to return the favour.
4. You Don't Ask, You Don't Get
This is one of the biggest life lessons for me and something I've always been told growing up is that if you don't ask for something, no one will ever know you want it. The worst that someone can say is no so you might as well try- you've got nothing to lose!
5. Keep To Your Word
Nobody likes a time waster - especially if someone has given their time up for you. If you tell someone you're going to do something then do it, even if it means extra work for you. If people know that they can rely on you, then they're more likely to be willing to help you in the long run.
6. You Won't Gain Anything by Waiting For it to Arrive
In case you hadn't noticed by now, I'm very driven. One thing I was never told but have learnt through experience, is that nothing will happen as long as you sit around waiting for it. If you look at anyone who has gotten anywhere with their life, it's because they've spent a lot of time working hard for it. If you don't make yourself known by working at what you want to do, no one will know you want to do it.
7. Family Comes First
Friends are always important, but when it comes to family they should always come first, regardless of what else you have going on in your life at the time.
8. Not All Family is Related
This is sort of related to the previous post, but sometimes your family isn't just those who you're related to by birth. You can't always choose your family, but you can make additions to it. Sometimes, friends become so close that they become relatives too.
9. Friends are for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime
I heard this from another blogger rather than from a family member, but I think it's such an amazing quote. I've had a few friends that I've tried to held on to when I shouldn't for fear of being without anyone. Sometimes people come into your life to help you through something, but aren't meant to be a friend for life, and that's completely okay.
10. Friends Don't Have To Be in Your Pocket
You shouldn't neglect your friends, but it doesn't mean you need to speak to each other 24/7. Sometimes you can go months without speaking to someone, but if they're true friends, they'll be there for you when you need them and you can talk to them like you never left.
11. Don't Waste Time on Someone Who Won't Give you Theirs
I think this is so important - it's all too easy to chase after someone that you consider a friend, or drop everything to help them when they ask because you want to be a good person, but if they aren't there for you when you need them then it's not worth wasting your time.
12. If They're Not in Your Life, Their Opinion Doesn't Matter
As a blogger you get to do things that a lot of people would never get the opportunity to do, and this sparks a lot of jealousy and unfortunately a lot of hate. The first thing any blogger will tell you is that you need a thick skin, but at times that's easier said than done and it can be easier to take on a comment rather than ignore the negativity. It's easy to forget, but if someone isn't part of your daily life then their opinion really shouldn't matter.
13. Don't Stay Where You Aren't Happy
This applies to work and to life in general. You only get one life, and there's no point spending it being unhappy. If there's something that you can change to make yourself happier then that's something you should absolutely do, even if it may cause you a few problems in the short term.
14. Travel Whenever You Can
With my blog and working as a photographer, I've been very lucky to have the opportunity to travel the country. It's such an amazing experience to see other cities and visit places that you've never been before, even if it's only in the same country that you've grown up in. If you can save up the money and keep some time spare, I would absolutely recommend it, even if it's only for a day trip.
15. Take Every Opportunity
As a blogger, I'm lucky to be offered more experiences than others but if you're ever given the chance to do something different, you should always take it, whether it's something that you personally have been invited to do, or something that was an open call for members of the public. New experiences will stand you in good stead for other aspects of your life, and getting to experience new things is just as enjoyable as it is helpful to you.
16. Function Over Fashion
When I was younger rI used to go out for the day in a dress and a pair of heels, then spend the day limping down the street with my feet covered in blisters, or freeze because I didn't have a coat to match my outfit. While style is still massive to me, sometimes you have to forgo the fashionable outfit in favour of being comfortable, and by doing this you're always going to be more productive.
17. Always Bring a Coat
I can't stress this enough. You know when you were growing up and you'd constantly be harassed by family as you walked out the door for leaving without a coat? Well annoyingly, they're actually right. Wherever you go always bring a coat, whether that's a thick warm jacket in winter or a waterproof parka, because it's less effort to carry it and not need it, than spend the day dodging rain and possibly making yourself ill because you didn't come prepared. I know it's annoying, but just listen to them.
18. Don't Stress If You Can't Change It
It's natural to worry about bumps in the road, but if you can't do anything about them then you're wasting your time worrying about it. Worrying doesn't solve anything, so if you can change the situation then try to, but if you can't then try to calm down and think about things logically. If you make yourself ill, you're no use to anyone.
19. Work Hard
I feel like this one is pretty self explanatory but work hard in whatever you do and you will succeed.
20. Keep it Simple
Do what you love, work hard and don't overcomplicate anything that doesn't need it.
Hopefully this post has been helpful for you, whether you're younger and still trying to figure things out or if you're older and just getting there. If you have any advice that I've not mentioned, please let me know in the comments below.
Love and Feathers,
The Owlet 💜
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