2017 has been a year of change. I’ve gone from student to graduate, homebody to traveller, in a relationship to single and from nobody to The Owlet, trekking across the country with a railcard in hand. But most importantly I’ve gone from miserable to not just content but happy, with a regained love for life that seemed to have gone missing for most of the year.
Looking back, January was the last time I felt true happiness when I visited the Go Glam Gala, stayed overnight in London and for the first time met people who read my blog. Since then I feel like my life and emotions have gone on a bit of a Yo-Yo; happy in January, miserable by March, bittersweet happiness at graduation in July, then by September the most miserable I’ve ever felt. Just two short weeks later I was a new person - travelling, free from anxiety and unhappiness, and properly smiling for the first time in what felt like forever. Okay that euphoric feeling was short lived, but the lessons I learnt have stuck with me, and despite everything that happened, I stayed happy.
Be Selfish
Not unkind, but put yourself first. Before my holiday of a lifetime, I always put myself last. I spent every ounce of energy making other people happy, even though I knew I’d left none for myself. I started to notice who I was messaging first all the time, who would only speak to me when they wanted something and who was sapping all my energy. I decided it was time to give myself some attention and focus on my happiness. Don’t do something because someone else wants you to do it, do what will bring you happiness.
Be Kind
One of the things I’ve seen far too much of this year is spite - not just personally towards me, but in the blogging community and further afield. Being spiteful is one of those things that I’ve just never understood - I wouldn’t have the time or energy to be nasty to someone all the time, and even if I did I’m sure I’d find better things to fill my time with. We can’t all afford to donate to charity or have time to volunteer for charity, but we can all take a few seconds to show someone kindness - be that complimenting someone, saying hi to someone at a party that looks uncomfortable, buying an extra bottle of water or sandwich to give to someone in need or just standing up for someone who needs a friend. We all have time to give kindness, no matter how small.
Not Everyone Will Like You
That’s something that’s been really hard for me to learn this year. When you through hundreds of thousands of people into the same space no one is every going to get on with everyone. Sometimes they’re friends stabbing you in the back, sometimes they talk behind your back or are outwardly aggressive, and sometimes they’re strangers hiding behind the anonymity of the internet. We can’t force everyone to like us, but you can limit how much power those people have. If an anonymous account calls you fat or says they don’t like your hair, it says more about them and their shallow values than it does about you. Focus on the people that make you truly happy, and let everyone else get on with it.
Learn When to let go
One of the last things I learnt was the hardest lesson of all - learning when to let go. When I chose to put myself first, that meant cutting the toxic people out of my life; when you’ve invested so much in someone it feels like you’re in too deep, you can’t give up now because you’ll lose all the work you’ve put into that person and their happiness. But sometimes people won’t be helped or can’t be fixed and all they’re doing is dragging you down. It’s not easy - you’ll miss them - and only you will know when that time is right, but I can promise you that cutting something out gives room for something better to grow.
2017 has been a year of change in a lot of ways, but it’s also been the year of growth. The past 52 weeks haven’t always been easy, but they’ve taught me a lot about myself and others. I’m stronger than I was last New Year’s Eve, I’m happier than I was in 2016, and above all I’m so ready to see what 2018 brings.
Happy New Year everyone, let’s make the best of it.
Love and Feathers,
The Owlet 💜
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