Hey Owlets,
I'm officially 24 years old. Looking at my audience stats I realise that statement is going to get a mixture of reactions ranging from "bloody hell, she's getting on a bit" to "what's she on about? She's just a baby" but for me turning 24 was absolutely terrifying.
I have never been good with ageing - I hate change and I hate thinking about the future because in the future things change, so getting older and having to learn to adult a bit more is absolutely terrifying - am I ever going to pay off my student loan? Does anyone ever pay off their student loan? Why did no one think it was a good idea to teach us anything useful in school?
It's really funny actually - throughout my early 20s I've maintained that I still feel like I'm 18, but as I hurtled towards turning 24 I suddenly noticed that people are younger than me. With the new lockdown rules we were able to have a socially-distanced birthday party with our friends - basically Jack and I sat together, and two friends sat 2 metres apart from each other in a park with a G&T (the perfect mid-twenties drink - why does turning 20 mean you suddenly appreciate gin?). We had a lovely time and it honestly made my week when I was absolutely dreading my birthday, but one thing I couldn't help but realise is that I had absolutely no idea what they were saying part of the time. I felt too old to ask, so sat there nodding and trying not to look confused. I thought that maybe it was just me having been a bit lax on my internetting during lockdown, but when I asked my boyfriend for a translation when we left it turns out he was just as confused as I was.
I don't know why, but 23-24 seems to be the year that everything changes. At the end of 2018 I met a friend for Christmas drinks - our tradition was to go for a catch up over cocktails once a month. We would laugh about how I'm going to spend my entire life single, travelling the world and occasionally coming home to check on my parents, and neither of us were EVER going to have children. Fast forward to 2020, she's Mum to a toddler and I'm flat-hunting with my boyfriend. Everyone we know seems to be getting married, buying houses and having babies, and I haven't been abroad since last year (although we can partially blame the planet for that one).
I actually tweeted saying I suddenly felt old, and I had loads of people my age responding saying they agreed, and a lot of tweets from older followers saying "just wait until you reach 40!" which wasn't terribly comforting if I'm being totally honest. It seems that as you get older, time goes quicker and quicker. I know it's like groundhog day in lockdown but I wake up around 9am, chat to my boyfriend while I scroll through Instagram for a bit, then I start work while he makes brunch, and suddenly it's 3pm and we've lost yet another day. Why has someone hit fast forward on my life and show me where I agreed to this happening, because I am not okay with this in the slightest.
Obviously I couldn't talk about turning 24 without mentioning that thing that you can't get away from at the moment - COVID-19. Since The Owlet took off at the end of 2017 I've been in a pretty constant cycle of travelling, coming home to spend time with my family, sat at home writing and trying to save money until I leave again, but a global pandemic is a surefire way to shake things up. For someone that's used to being busy all the time, having to stop overnight was incredibly strange. I found myself getting really anxious because I was wasting my life sat in the same room all day with only my daily walk to look forward to. I still get frustrated occasionally but now I'm shocked at how comfortable I am in this routine, and I can't help feeling a little apprehensive about life going back to normal.
I know my birthday posts are usually "look what I've done in the last year" or "here's what I've learnt" but with the world being so different now it felt weird writing either of those articles, so if the world can change overnight so can I. The one thing I have to say is that the older I get the more the saying "comparison is the thief of joy" rings true. I don't have a house or a car, I'm not married and I'm not a mum, but I don't want that. I have an incredible job, I travel and see more in a month than most people do in a year, I have an amazing boyfriend, incredible family and wonderful friends. Okay, other people who felt the same as me have changed, but that doesn't mean I have to. If you're reading this and you're younger than me, then you probably think I'm being really dramatic but I promise I'm not. Stop comparing yourself and your life to others, and focus on living it instead. If you're older than me and reading this then I know it seems obvious now, but you probably went through this too so give me some time to adapt. Whatever your age though, make the most of everyday - even if we are all locked inside right now.
As I mark another year done, I might be a bit scared but I'm ready to focus on the parts that bring me joy, and learn to appreciate the quiet bits in between.
Love and Feathers,
The Owlet 💜
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