Friday, 3 August 2018

Surviving a Body Confidence Crash

how to be more body confident body positivity plus size fashion blogger

Hey Owlets,

Today I wanted to talk to you about something that I think affects a lot of us from time to time - a body confidence crash. I actually struggled with this when I was in Birmingham a few weeks ago,  after I attended an event where I felt like I was being judged purely on my weight, and someone on Twitter asked me how I dealt with it, so what kind of blogger would I be if I didn’t make a post out of it?

Body confidence crashes happen to the best of us, no matter how great you feel normally - they can happen because you’re having a “fat day” where you don’t feel comfortable in anything you wear or because, like me, you experienced someone judging you for your appearance. If you’re sat on your bed right now in your pyjamas feeling like crap, then these tips are for you!

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Acknowledge that it’s your mind, not body:

I know this sounds a little stupid, but when something makes you feel like you’re not good enough it’s easy to stand in the mirror picking yourself to pieces, meanwhile forgetting that your body is almost exactly the same as it was yesterday or last week when you had no issue with it. It’s important to remember that it’s not your body that’s the problem, it’s your mindset that’s changed. I always find that once I’m reminded of that it’s easier to look at myself objectively and get dressed without hating everything.

Work out what caused it, and look for a solution:

For me, my body confidence crash was caused my an overly judgemental person treating me differently because of how I looked. I always try to be at least courteous to everyone, but this person looked me up and down then blanked me for the entire evening, speaking to everyone around me (who were of an average size) while trying not to make eye contact with me. Could it have been that he doesn’t like tall girls, fair skinned girls or girls who wear a full face of makeup everyday? Maybe, but in my mind it was because of my figure. As a plus size girl I often find that people try to belittle me or decide that I’m not allowed to be confident because I should be hiding my body until I become a size 8. I think a lot of people are guilty of doing that without realising because it’s so engrained in our culture. To make myself feel better I thought “he’s just one person with one point of view” -  as a blogger I’m lucky that I can go on my Instagram and scroll through all of the amazing comments I get from you to cheer me up, but if you don’t have much of an online presence you can still text or call your friends/family and they’ll always back you up.

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Take some time to look after yourself:

We all get bad days - sometimes you can work through them, sometimes not - but you don’t need to feel guilty if you’re not feeling up to going out straight away. I find that if I feel insecure there’s no better remedy than having a shower, washing my hair then blowdrying it properly so it looks nice rather than the usual air-dried, tangled mess. I like to let my hair sit in a towel for a bit so it’s only damp when I blow-dry it, so after my shower I’ll put my hair up and do some skincare- my favourite thing to do is exfoliate my skin, then go in with my Kiehl’s Super MultiCorrective Eye Serum and my Caudalie Divine Oil, as those are the three things that I notice the biggest change in my skin after doing. If you’ve got the time put Netflix on TV and paint your nails. I can guarantee that when you’ve done all that you’ll look like amazing and feel even better.

Have a 10/10 Outfit on Standby:

You may have seen the above jumpsuit on more than one occasion, but that’s because I absolutely love it (obviously!). When you feel less-than-great about yourself it can be easy to blame your clothes and decide everything looks awful on you, even if you felt great in it two days ago. For this exact reason I always have a go-to outfit, even when I’m travelling so that if I feel bad I can put that on and remember that I usually feel great in it, and seeing that nothing has changed overnight, I must still look good in it even though I don’t feel like that. Once you come to that realisation it’s hard to hate your usual favourite outfit, so it drags your self esteem up a few notches. My go-to is my black floral jumpsuit from Peacocks, black pumps, my newly-acquired black jacket from Yours Clothing (I’m sorry I don’t have a photo with this on yet), and either my Ted Baker Robot Bag or my beloved Kate Spade bag.

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Eat, Drink and Be Healthy:

If I’m struggling with a 0 confidence day, it’s either because I’m bloated, run down, or a thoughtless asshole felt the need to put the fat girl in her place - considering two out of three of those are health related, that’s actually great because we can fix that. If you’re having a bad day start with a decent breakfast - make sure it’s balanced and packed with fruit and veg, as it’ll give you a bit of a feel-good boost - skip the coffee at breakfast and have a cold glass of water instead; it’ll wake you up just as much but your body will feel healthier for it. Keep eating healthily and drinking plenty of water all day, because when your body feels better you will too - a Chinese takeaway isn’t going to help the bloated, run down feeling. Even though you’re not at your happiest try to push yourself out the door. Don’t go for a full on workout if you don’t usually do that, because breaking yourself in the gym won’t make you lose weight instantly so it’s not going to help your mental health. Instead try to push yourself out the door, and go for a walk. You don’t necessarily have to have plans, but I put on my favourite outfit and walked from Broad Street into the centre of Birmingham and by the time I got there I’d had 20 minutes of waltzing through the sunshine and I felt great about myself again.

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For some more long term ways to feel great, try to get regular exercise even if it’s just hitting your 10K steps every day, make sure you’re getting enough sleep, and eat healthily rather than binging all weekend then trying to diet in the week. You can have treats, but spread them out rather than them being all in one. 

Remember to use these tips next time you have a low confidence day, and if there’s something you do that I’ve not included then make sure you let me know in the comments below, or find me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

Love and Feathers, 
 The Owlet 💜 
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